Understanding your child's strengths and weaknesses is a great way to manage unwanted behavior. Why? Well, for example, if you didn't know your child couldn't read, and you asked him to pick something off the picture-free menu, he would probably have a tantrum because he is unable to do what you've asked. He's frustrated and embarrassed and doesn't know what to do. Knowing that he can't read would tell you that you should read him some choices or choose restaurants with picture menus.
I'm going to get technical for a minute, but just for a minute. I want to tell you about Executive Functioning Skills. They are the skills that come from our thinking that enable us to do what we do everyday. Planning, time-keeping, prioritizing, organizing, going with the flow, thinking before speaking, paying attention, and following through are some of the skills that are involved in executive functioning.
If your child is weak in one or more of these skills, it would be difficult for her to complete tasks that involve these skills. For example: Your child is weak in organizing, prioritizing, and planning. She is strong in paying attention and following through on a task that she completely understands. When you tell her to go clean her room when it's a wreck, she goes in and throws a fit. She picks up things and throws them or rolls around the room, crying. Now that you know she is weak in organizing, prioritizing, and planning, you are going to help her develop a system for cleaning her room. You have two choices (or more if you can think of them):
1. Make a list of what needs to be done. Make sure you divide it out so it clearly shows what she needs to do. For example, you can write pick up clothes; put clothes in laundry basket; put books on shelf; make bed; dust dresser; put dolls away; and so on. Ask for her help in making the list. Have her look around the room and tell you what needs to be done while you write it down. For a child who is overwhelmed by the sight of a large amount of chores, organizing the job into a clear list will help her start and finish the job with more ease. She can check off each task as she finishes and it will give her a visual of her accomplishments.
2. Tell her one thing at a time and then she can check in with you. For example, you can tell her to go put her dirty clothes in the laundry basket and tell you when she's done. When that's complete, you can tell her to put the books on the shelf and come tell you. Keep doing this until she is finished with her chores. For a child who is easily overwhelmed by lists or many things to do, this technique will work best.
There are many resources to read that will assist you in understanding your child’s strengths and weaknesses where executive functioning skills are concerned. Use these books to learn more about your child and how you can help him to effectively and efficiently navigate his daily life. Then, you and your child will feel confident and secure about things to come.
My favorite books for this topic are:
(You can't click on those links, I just took a screen shot of the books. But, if you click on the Alibris link below, you'll find the books ready for purchase.)
These books outline the executive functioning skills for young children and teens. It gives a test/survey to take to determine your results and your child's results. It also gives suggestions on how to manage.
I'm going to get technical for a minute, but just for a minute. I want to tell you about Executive Functioning Skills. They are the skills that come from our thinking that enable us to do what we do everyday. Planning, time-keeping, prioritizing, organizing, going with the flow, thinking before speaking, paying attention, and following through are some of the skills that are involved in executive functioning.
If your child is weak in one or more of these skills, it would be difficult for her to complete tasks that involve these skills. For example: Your child is weak in organizing, prioritizing, and planning. She is strong in paying attention and following through on a task that she completely understands. When you tell her to go clean her room when it's a wreck, she goes in and throws a fit. She picks up things and throws them or rolls around the room, crying. Now that you know she is weak in organizing, prioritizing, and planning, you are going to help her develop a system for cleaning her room. You have two choices (or more if you can think of them):
1. Make a list of what needs to be done. Make sure you divide it out so it clearly shows what she needs to do. For example, you can write pick up clothes; put clothes in laundry basket; put books on shelf; make bed; dust dresser; put dolls away; and so on. Ask for her help in making the list. Have her look around the room and tell you what needs to be done while you write it down. For a child who is overwhelmed by the sight of a large amount of chores, organizing the job into a clear list will help her start and finish the job with more ease. She can check off each task as she finishes and it will give her a visual of her accomplishments.
2. Tell her one thing at a time and then she can check in with you. For example, you can tell her to go put her dirty clothes in the laundry basket and tell you when she's done. When that's complete, you can tell her to put the books on the shelf and come tell you. Keep doing this until she is finished with her chores. For a child who is easily overwhelmed by lists or many things to do, this technique will work best.
There are many resources to read that will assist you in understanding your child’s strengths and weaknesses where executive functioning skills are concerned. Use these books to learn more about your child and how you can help him to effectively and efficiently navigate his daily life. Then, you and your child will feel confident and secure about things to come.
My favorite books for this topic are:
(You can't click on those links, I just took a screen shot of the books. But, if you click on the Alibris link below, you'll find the books ready for purchase.)
These books outline the executive functioning skills for young children and teens. It gives a test/survey to take to determine your results and your child's results. It also gives suggestions on how to manage.